Top 7 Worst Movies Of 2017

This has been one of the best years for movies in a long time, which makes these movies all the more painful to watch. To make the list the movie needs to have been released this year. The movie DOES NOT need to have had a theatrical release, so anything Netflix and Amazon helped make is fair game. Before we begin I wanted to disclose that I did NOT see one of the movies on the list and will disclose so when we get there, But a good friend of mine saw it and told me what I needed to know about the movie and is normally pretty unbiased. So let’s get started.

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7. Ghost In The Shell

Directed By: Rupert Sanders

Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Pilou Asbaek, Michael Pitt

Length: 1 h 47 min

Rated: PG-13

who I think it’s appropriate for: 14+

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 45%

Mettacritc: 62

My Rating: C+ or 7.8

This one’s less bad and more just really mediocre. It’s based off the beloved 1995 anime film of the same name and stars Scarlett Johansson as the title character of the major. My problem with this movie was it was really unfocused. The action scenes were few and far between and never really clicked. The aesthetic of the movie was ripped straight from BladeRunner, and the actors just seemed bored at parts. The movie never really meshed together like they wanted it to. If you liked the original it’s probably worth a look, but it just didn’t work for me.

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6. The Hitman’s Bodyguard

Directed By: Patrick Hughes

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Samuel L. Jackson, Gary Oldman, Elodie Yung

length: 1 h 58 min

Rated: R

who I think it’s appropriate for: 17+

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 38%

Mettacritic:47

My Rating: C- or 7.1

This one was a letdown for me. the trailer and the cast showed promise, all they had to do was make it not formulaic. Unfortunately It echoes every buddy cop comedy that came before it, not only that but the movie just isn’t that funny despite the movie going out of its way to prove that it is. The cast tries their hardest to make this movie work but there’s only so much they could do with an inexperienced writer, and a director who’s never made a good movie before. The best I can say for it is that the cast tried, and that it has a great soundtrack.

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5. Pirate of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Directed By: Jaochim Ranning

Cast: Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, Geoffrey Rush, Brenton Thwaites, Kaya Scodelario, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knighley

length: 2 H 9 min

Rated: PG-13

who I think it’s appropriate for: 14+

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 29%

Mettacritc: 39

My Rating: D- or 6.3

This movie is inexcusable. it is the 5th entry at this point and what got me interested was that Disney  the original cast (Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley) that made the series entertaining in the first place, was returning. They were there for two god damn minutes, which I would have been fine with if the movie was good, spoiler alert, it was terrible. the plot was jumbled and was a complete retread of everything that came before, the new characters were boring as hell, and Johnny Depp spent the majority of the movie out of character goofing off in a corner. I mean johnny Depp’s character was always weird but he had some semblance of self-control before, self-control just doesn’t exist in this movie is the short answer. The worst part is they have a marvel-esque after credits scene setting up a 6th one, no just no. I chalk a lot of it up to a bad director but as I said before the cast was cardboard at best, Raving lunatics with zero self control at worst.

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4. The Mummy

Directed By: Alex Kurtzman

Cast:Tom Crusie, Sofia Boutella, Annabelle Wallis, Russell Crowe, Jake Johnson

length: 1h 47 min

Rated: PG-13

who I think it’s appropriate for: 14+

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 16%

Mettacritc: 34

My Rating: D- 5.9

I reviewed this back when it originally dropped and roasted for its flaws then, and am going to again now. The movie is a mess, the acting is o.k. (from everyone aside from Jake Johnson) and the effects are decent. Tom Cruise was surprisingly bad in this film, he just doesn’t have the same fun energy he normally does. The two standouts are Russell Crowe and Sofia Boutella, who honestly saved the movie from being a complete train wreck, but the movie is still a train wreck. My biggest beef with this movie is still Jake Johnson. His acting helped make this movie the train wreck that it is, I’m sorry if I’m being a bit harsh but it’s the truth.

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3. Annabelle Creation

Directed By: David F. Sandberg

Cast: Stephanie Sigman, Talitha Bateman, Lulu Wilson, Anthony LaPaglia

length: 1h 49 min

Rated: R

who I think it’s appropriate for: 17+

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 69%

Mettacritc: 62

My Rating: D or 6.0

Those of you who read my review know of the struggle I had whilst reviewing this movie, I’m not going to get into that here but for those who want to know what happened go read my review of the movie. I’m going to be blunt and say that this movie tries way too hard to be scary. by the end of the movie there is a jump-scare every other minute, it’s time for filmmakers to learn we aren’t scared of just loud noise and the camera sudden cutting to something, and also that we need to care about the characters in order for them constantly being in danger to work. It (2017) is a great example of how to do a horror movie right, while yes it had a few jump-scare but those had build up which is important for a good jump-scare. I will say that the acting, set design, and sound design are all really well done, but they can’t make a movie scary on their own.

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2.The Emoji Movie

Directed By: Tony Leonidis

Cast: T. J. Miller, James Corden, Anna Ferris, Patrick Stewart

length: 1 h 26 min

Rated: PG

who I think it’s appropriate for: 10+ (but why would you watch this)

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 9%

Mettacritc: 12

My Rating: F or 3.0

Just to disclose I didn’t go see this one but I have a friend who went to go see it as a joke, and told me everything I need to know about it. The movie is basically an hour and a half advertisement and is a blatant rip off of the Lego Movie and Inside out which are both vastly superior movies. The whole plot apparently centers around getting to Drop Box.   The acting is o.k. at best and cringe-fest 2017 at worst. A lot of people are saying this movie is not appropriate for kids because the movie is basically a hidden advertisement meant to sell smart phone apps, and from what I’ve seen and heard this is a fair point. What disappoints me is that people actually went to go see this, and now because this one did o.k. there is talk of a f–king fidget spinner movie over at Sony. I urge anyone reading this not to support this type of film making. There are really good smaller indie movie that deserve your time instead of this piece of corporate brain washing trash.

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1.  Death Note Live-action (2017)

Directed By:Adam Wingard

Cast: Nat Wolff, Lakeith Stanfield, Margaret Qualley, Willhem Dafoe

length: 1 h 41 min

Rated: TV-MA

who I think it’s appropriate for: 17+ (or nobody since this movie is awful and deserves to be avoided like the plague)

Rotten Tomatoes Score: 40%

Mettacritc: 43

My Rating: F or 2.1 ( and this is now officially the lowest score I’ve ever given but hear me out because this s–t pile deserves it).

Let me just start out by saying I watched the original Death Note anime and like it a lot,  when I heard this movie was coming out I was skeptical but was willing to give it a chance, I soon found my skepticism was justified and wasted two hours of my life that I’ll never get back watching this movie. I am going to say there is one good thing about this movie and that is Wilhem Dafoe, who absolutely shines in the role of Ryuk the shinigami death god. Everyone else in this movie is horribly miss-cast and completely misses who these characters are and how they work. I would have been fine that the characters were different if they were compelling, which they weren’t. Instead we got a group of just complete a-holes who hated and manipulated each other to get what they want. Don’t fix what isn’t broke because you’ll only end up breaking it. I honestly couldn’t care less about theses characters. by the end you’re honestly cheering when their lives fall apart and when their lives are in peril due to their own stupidity. And the theirs that stupid 90’s slow music soundtrack playing throughout the whole movie. In the original Death Note the death happened off-screen which made it more impactful when they actually showed it. Here they show everything for little reason other than to get a bunch of middle schoolers to go “ew”. Which leads us into my biggest problem with the movie, which is that it has a serious identity crisis. The movie should be aimed at fans of the original show, instead it’s aimed at middle schoolers who are honestly too young to be watching this movie. It honestly play out like f–king Twilight, which is about the biggest fist to the face you can give to a fan of the original. To conclude Death Note is the worst movie of 2017, packed to the brim with shallow characters, awful performances, and one hell of an identity crisis.

Thank you for reading and look forward to more content soon.

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